I must believe

Tuesday after I was told that I was laid off I went up to Pilot Mountain State Park to gain some perspective. I have only been there one time before. I did not complete any of the trails that time. This time I hoped to do some hiking, thinking, praying, and crying out to God.

looking up

I figured it would be a good place to get away and be still with God. I also figured that is what I needed right now, Jesus.

I got up there around 10:30 am. There were heavy snow flurries blowing around at the top. I said to myself I did not drive all the way up to be scared of some flurries. So I  wrapped up and put on my water reservoir bag and iPod shuffle. (In my opinion I like the shuffle better than any iPod with a screen.) I had actually loaded our two 1GB 1st generation shuffles differently. One was loaded with worshipful, encouraging, favorite music and the other was loaded with sermons. I put on music first. I wondered if I should just be quiet but I felt I needed something to focus on other than the fact I was in this situation. It was encouraging to listen to the music remind of many important truths about the God I love and worship.

I remember standing at the bottom of the the mountain looking up at the Big Pinnacle. I prayed, thought, wondered, and hoped. I wanted to scream out over the valley but I was not sure what I would scream and who I was going to scream at. So I didn’t.

After spending time with God, I must still believe these things.

God loves me. Romans 5: 6-8

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person–though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die–8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us

has a plan for me

has called me

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”

will work to bring good out of this.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28 ESV

If I love Jesus I have to love His church.

lyrics from Derek Webb’s “The Church”

‘Cause i haven’t come for only you
but for my people to pursue
you cannot care for me with no regard for her
if you love me you will love the church


I felt as I came back home that evening that I had been in God’s presence and truly had a mountain top experience. I could feel stress and anger and hurt lifted from me. I also felt as I drove back home a sense of just being scared as to what the future held. I also remembered Who held my future.

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